Money Saving Websites
|
Fwd: FW: Listen to the guy in the middle when he laughs...
|
Turn up the speakers - You are in for pure entertainment!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS AS MUCH AS I DID!
Double-click or copy and paste:
http://videos.komando.com/2008/06/04/mans-surprising-laugh/
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS AS MUCH AS I DID!
Double-click or copy and paste:
http://videos.komando.com/2008/06/04/mans-surprising-laugh/
Your Body Statistics
|
Your Body Statistics
It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb).
The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women reading this will be finished now.
Men who read this are still busy checking their thumbs.
It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb).
The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women reading this will be finished now.
Men who read this are still busy checking their thumbs.
Fwd: FW: Heaven
|
A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the
scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered
dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He
wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a
high, white stone wall along one side of the road.
It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill it was broken by a
tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it he saw
a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like Mother of Pearl, and the
street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked
toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.
"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked. Of course, sir.
Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man
gestured, and the gate began to open.
"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveller
asked.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued
the way he had been going with his dog.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a
dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been
closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside,
leaning against a tree and reading a book.
"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"
"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there". The man pointed to a place that
couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."
"How about my friend here?" the traveller gestured to the dog.
"There should be a bowl by the pump." They went through the gate, and sure
enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The
traveller filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some
to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man
who was standing by the tree waiting for them.
"What do you call this place?" the traveller asked. "This is Heaven," he
answered. "Well, that's confusing," the traveller said. "The man down the
road said that was Heaven, too."
"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's
Hell."
"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"
"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen
out the folks who'll leave their best friends behind."
Various Links
|
Shopping - Coupons
http://www.thegrocerygame.com/
www.fatwallet.com
4x4 trails
http://www.traildamage.com/
Video Sites
http://www.liveleak.com/
http://www.break.com/
http://www.collegehumor.com/
Citizens Against Ugly Street Spam
http://www.causs.org/
Funny
http://upsidedowndogs.com/
http://www.thegrocerygame.com/
www.fatwallet.com
4x4 trails
http://www.traildamage.com/
Video Sites
http://www.liveleak.com/
http://www.break.com/
http://www.collegehumor.com/
Citizens Against Ugly Street Spam
http://www.causs.org/
Funny
http://upsidedowndogs.com/
Fwd: http://www.cwp.org/Community_Watersheds/brochure.pdf
|
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Chris Huddleston <CHuddleston@leprinofoods.com>
Date: Tue, May 6, 2008 at 8:24 AM
Subject: http://www.cwp.org/Community_Watersheds/brochure.pdf
To: chuddles33@gmail.com
From: Chris Huddleston <CHuddleston@leprinofoods.com>
Date: Tue, May 6, 2008 at 8:24 AM
Subject: http://www.cwp.org/Community_Watersheds/brochure.pdf
To: chuddles33@gmail.com
Curtain Rods
|
Curtain Rods
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates,
and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful
dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music,
and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of
Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and
deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for
the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place
out.Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which
they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to
replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repair
people refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not
take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they
could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually,
even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had
to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He
told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that
she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her
divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on
a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth. But only
if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the
hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they
watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new
home...
including the curtain rods.
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates,
and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful
dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music,
and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of
Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and
deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for
the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place
out.Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which
they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to
replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repair
people refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not
take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they
could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually,
even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had
to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He
told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that
she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her
divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on
a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth. But only
if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the
hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they
watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new
home...
including the curtain rods.
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?
Fwd: FW:
|
The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd.
The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever
been.
Alan Ashley-Pitt
Fwd: FW: Fwd: Fw: Weird but True
|
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,
the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a
porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought
slpeling was ipmorantt
10 Online Photo Editors That You Definitely Need to Bookmark
|
Friday, November 07, 2008
via digg.com: Stories / Popular on 11/7/08
Online image editors are in a rage these days. Everyday, you hear about the release of a new online photo editor that claim to be the next big thing. From among the great number of online editors, we have hand picked some of the best ones that we found to be are noteworthy. With each site description, we have tried to tell you how or what feature
Striped FJ Cruiser
|
This is a cool shadow that made me do a doubletake when I went by it. The shadow from the metal fence made the car look striped.
Deep observations on life!
|
1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--
who died peacefully in his sleep.
Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."
--Author Unknown
2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you
get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:
"Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."
--Author Unknown
3) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a
support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they
meet at the bar."
--Drew Carey
4) "The problem with the designated driver program, it's
not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into
doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night,
drop them off at the wrong house."
--Jeff Foxworthy
5) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball
and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the
infant's life without even considering if there is a man on
base."
--Dave Barry
6) "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and
we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or
girlfriend
wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks'
notice.
There should be severance pay, the day before they leave
you, they should have to find you a temp."
--Bob Ettinger
7) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took
her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said,
'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"
--Paula Poundstone
8) "A study in the Washington Post says that women have
better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the
authors of that study: "Duh."
--Conan O'Brien
9) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm
halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....
I could be eating a slow learner."
--Lynda Montgomery
10) "I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of
people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime
and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's
go west.'"
--Richard Jeni
11) "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the
impersonators would be dead."
--Johnny Carson
12) "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us
geography."
--Paul Rodriguez
13) "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they
turned sixty and that's the law."
--Jerry Seinfeld
14) "Remember in elementary school, you were told that in
case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file
line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that?
What, do tall people burn slower?"
--Warren Hutcherson
15) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is
the same."
--Oscar Wilde
16) "Suppose you were an idiot .. And suppose you were a
member of Congress... But I repeat myself."
--Mark Twain
17) "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school
student. At least they can find Afghanistan."
--A. Whitney Brown
19) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog
will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right!
I never would've thought of that!'"
--Dave Barry
From ol' Wyomin' where the wind blows free; (and the air is clear)
18) "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a
place."
--Billy Crystal
19) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog
will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right!
I never would've thought of that!'"
--Dave Barry
20) Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow
Disease" was taken.
--Unknown, presumed deceased
Redneck Challenge
|
REDNECK CHALLENGE
I am sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South.
I challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam:
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will
support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on
blocks in your front yard?
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane
(B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle
(C) '64 Pontiac GTO.
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20
gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are
required to condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density
of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The
plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How
many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12
simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone
layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a
field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16
feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch
collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with
an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his
grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have
enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep
slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average
traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it
will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The
mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the
beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will
be smoked during the shift?
10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per
generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by
the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?
I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one, didn't ya?
It's okay if'n ya didn't do all that well. Just goes to show
ya...There's a hole heap of things that big city book-learning don't
prepare ya for in this life. As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK
CHALLENGE", here's some southerly advice that may come in handy down
the road a piece...
Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop
and place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with
them.
From ol' Wyomin' where the wind blows free; (and the air is clear)
Heaven
|
A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the
scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered
dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He
wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a
high, white stone wall along one side of the road.
It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill it was broken by a
tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it he saw
a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like Mother of Pearl, and the
street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked
toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.
"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked. Of course, sir.
Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man
gestured, and the gate began to open.
"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveller
asked.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued
the way he had been going with his dog.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a
dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been
closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside,
leaning against a tree and reading a book.
"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"
"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there". The man pointed to a place that
couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."
"How about my friend here?" the traveller gestured to the dog.
"There should be a bowl by the pump." They went through the gate, and sure
enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The
traveller filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some
to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man
who was standing by the tree waiting for them.
"What do you call this place?" the traveller asked. "This is Heaven," he
answered. "Well, that's confusing," the traveller said. "The man down the
road said that was Heaven, too."
"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's
Hell."
"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"
"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen
out the folks who'll leave their best friends behind."
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